Last night, I was sitting with my fiancé and best friend listening to Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant. After laughing at the apparent comedic factor, we began to talk about the cultural implications of the musical monologue. In telling the story of Guthrie's experience with Officer Obie and the Vietnam draft, he pointed out the hypocrisy that existed within the Armed Forces' selection process in terms of psychological and criminal history.
Now, I would be lying if I said that I don't have some amount of respect for the men and women who serve in our Armed Forces seeing as how the majority of them do it in an effort to keep our country safe from outside threat. However, what I came to realize last night is that a great deal of our participation in acts of war, in general, is based upon one huge factor... fear.
Fear is one of the most basic and animalistic emotions that drive us as human beings. Like other living things, we experience a, "fight or flight," response when confronted with something that causes us to be afraid. If you're walking through a dark alley way in the middle of the night and you see someone coming towards you, the sympathetic nervous response takes over; your pupils dilate, adrenaline is released into your blood stream causing your heart rate to increase pumping blood into your arms and legs in case you need to move quickly, and your liver empties itself of all of your extra glucose stores to provide you with the energy to deal with the stress. As a result, your body has equipped you with the means to do one of two thing, fight or run away.
Believe it or not, we as humans are faced with these small fight or flight responses all the time whether we recognize them or not. You get a large electric bill, fear. Somebody cuts you off while you have your child in the car, fear. You feel like your livelihood is being threatened, fear. As a result of this fairly constant exposure to fear, we do a number of things, such as overeat, yell at our kids, throw temper tantrums, drink heavily, compulsive shop, fall into depressions, and, most importantly, fight each other.
In analyzing instances of verbal or physical violence being acted out between two groups of people with differences varying between race, religion, sexual orientation etc. I have narrowed them all down to fear. Being afraid of each other. Come with me on this journey:
Black Man to White Man: "I am afraid that you're not going to respect me or my family. I'm afraid that you're going to deny my rights and view me as less of a person.
White Man to Black Man: "I am afraid that you're going to hurt me and put the blame of previous generations on me.
Judeo-Christian to Pagan: "I don't understand your beliefs and the ways you practice them. I am afraid that my God will be angry with me if I support the things you do.
Pagan to Judeo-Christian: "I am afraid that you will discriminate against me because of my "unorthodox" beliefs and will try to change me.
Homophobe to Homosexual: "I am afraid of what you do because it's not what I'm used to. I've not been exposed to your lifestyle, so it alarms me.
Homosexual to Homophobe: "I am afraid that you will hurt me for being who I am and not recognize the one I love and I's rights as a couple.
There are three ways to go about handling these fears and situations. First, we could take the fear response and use it to power anger, which will result in fighting and further disrespect. Secondly, we could run away, ignore the problem, learn nothing, neglect to inform others and thus perpetuate ignorance. OR (and this is the more favorable of the options) we could use this energy that fear gives us constructively. We could ask questions, answer other's queries, do research (in an unbiased fashion) and open up our minds and hearts to the thoughts, beliefs, and rights of others. Doing so would make us more capable of recognizing the fact that these people are human beings with the same goals as us (raising a family, being happy) and that, for the most part, people are not out to get you as it may feel sometimes. That being said, let's adjust our prior dialogues to incorporate an element of understanding:
Black Man to White Man: "I am afraid that you're not going to respect me or my family. I'm afraid that you're going to deny my rights and view me as less of a person.
White Man to Black Man: "I am afraid that you're going to hurt me and put the blame of previous generations on me.
Black Man to White Man: "But I don't want to hurt you, I just want to raise my children in a safe environment and make a good life for my family"
White Man to Black Man: "I don't view you or your family as less than human and, like you, I only want a safe environment for my children and family."
Open communication like this between peoples of all different groups can create constructive conversations and idea sharing. We all have our own concept for how we feel the world can be a better place, and without the restraint of fear, we would be able to discuss them and work together universally. Having a little faith and trust for our fellow man will make us more open individuals and able to ask the question, "What can we all do to fix this mess?" Once we concern ourselves with progressing as a group as opposed to individuals, we can stop this inane fear of what we don't understand in others and take a few steps closer to being a peaceful society.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Stand
I stand with no reservation.
Face to the breeze, back to my past and I will not feel shame or fear.
Today I will be a beacon.
The light I wish to see in the world will shine through me and I will attempt to ignite the spirits of others with the intention of universal love and truth.
We all stand with no reservations, arms spread, hearts abandoned in the spirit of solidarity.
We stand and the beauty is deafening.
Face to the breeze, back to my past and I will not feel shame or fear.
Today I will be a beacon.
The light I wish to see in the world will shine through me and I will attempt to ignite the spirits of others with the intention of universal love and truth.
We all stand with no reservations, arms spread, hearts abandoned in the spirit of solidarity.
We stand and the beauty is deafening.
The Secret To World Peace
In short, love will save the world. I repeat; LOVE WILL SAVE THE WORLD. Real love, mind you, not what I like to call, "Cafeteria Love," or, "Hate Disguised As Love." You run across these two things very often and I will touch on both of these concepts. First, however, one thing is to be undoubtably understood, and that is this; LOVE IS RESPECT. You cannot possibly love someone or even something without undeniable respect for that person or thing. Respect means respect of privacy, respect of integrity, respect of emotions, and respect of body.
You cannot claim to love a person, or group of persons, and do things that violate their right to safety, privacy, and happiness. Doing so is what I call, "Hate Disguised As Love." My hallmark example of people frequently practicing this (radical as it may be) are the members of The Westboro Baptist Church. The God Hates Fags people claim that their God "hates fags and fag enablers," but if you were to ask them if THEY hate them, their response rings as, "No! We do not hate them. We LOVE them and that is why we feel the need to warn them of God's wrath." Given what we know now that LOVE IS RESPECT, we can recognize that by causing numerous people emotional grief, thereby threatening their right to emotional safety, these church members cannot love them. This concept translates into many others situations and injustices commited by people based upon the merits of nationalism, politics, religion, race, creed, and sexuality.
At this point, I am going to cannon bomb right into the deep end of the controversy pool. Do you have your water wings? Because you're coming with me on this journey. The first thing to understand is that you should not combat one injustice with another. Doing so is not respectful to another, therefore not loving. (Is one and one adding up to two yet?) Not to mention, if we lived an, "Eye For An Eye," society, we'd all be dead ahead of our time. Here it goes, so grab the torches and pitchforks. Whether or not to voluntarily end a pregnancy can be one of the most difficult and daunting decisions a woman can make in her life be it due to personal economic reasons, health etc. Standing outside of a healthcare facility with large pictures of mangled fetuses, calling a woman (who, as I said) may have just made one of the most painful and difficult decisions of her life) a, "baby killer," or, "murderer," is not a loving act. Doing so is putting the emotional health of that particular woman in jeopardy, and not SAY IT WITH ME... respectful to that person. You have every right in the world to not agree with that decision, but consider this; Perhaps taking a more respectful and loving attitude to express that opinion WHEN ASKED (which is key) is going to turn a lot more hearts than making a villain of yourself and envoking a feeling of resentment. Without that, we could be a much more unified group of people resulting in a more peaceful society. This also goes for my pro-choice brothers and sisters. Stuffing your opinion down someone else's throat using vulgarity and condecension makes you no better than anyone else. It only creates negative feelings and stirs up resentment.
I move now to a more conversation-safe point. I read a quote recently that spoke a great deal to me, and it is this:
"I don't believe in charity, I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical, it goes from top to bottom. Solidarity is horizontal, it respects the other person. I have a lot to learn from other people."
Eduardo Galeano
When I initially read this, I thought to myself, "You know what? How easy is it to write a check? How easy to throw the discards from my wardrobe into a box and take it to the Goodwill (that I was going to anyways?) How simple to drop the change I got from the cashier into the Salvation Army bucket on my way out the door?" Very simple, I decided. Not to mention I get it back come tax time! AND I never really have to devote any of my own precious time or really get my hands dirty. This is an example of what I have deemed, "Cafeteria Love." That is, going through the, "line," or motions for my, "charitable street cred." At this point, I had become intrigued. I began to research where the money going to these non-profit organizations really goes at the end of the day, and the CEOs of many of these non-profit charitable organizations are making pretty tasty little salaries as it turns out. Okay, that's all well and nice for them, but I began to wonder; Would of the elimination of such massive middlemen eliminate the progressive leeching of donations making it so that more of the initial amount actually reaches it's eventual destination? That makes a great deal of sense to me at the end of the day. My solution is simple and it's this:
IF PEOPLE IN GENERAL ARE MORE OPEN TO SPENDING SOME OF THEIR TIME EXPRESSING THEIR, "LOVE," FOR THEIR FELLOW MAN (as they claim to when they write that check) IN A CLOSE, PERSONAL WAY, THEN WE WOULD NOT HAVE TO CREATE GIANT CORPORATIONS TO GROUP CARING INDIVIDUALS TOGETHER TO DEDICATE A WEEK'S WORTH OF HOURS TO HELPING OTHERS, THEREFORE THE SMALLER, INDIVIDUAL EFFORT OF BILLIONS WILL TRAVEL JUST AS FAR IF NOT MORE.
Okay, that... is a bit radical a concept admittedly. I only mean to say that if we limited all of our charitable effort to a local area with the help of everyone, there would be no salaries to pay, no corporations to support, and you would know that the very same resources would be available to you if need be. Riddle me this; what is the difference between writing your check to your organization of choice, and buying the food yourself, preparing it, and serving it personally at an independant soup kitchen? The answer... time. You're dedicating the funds anyways, why not personally see where it goes? THAT is the difference between charity and solidarity. The difference between passing your money to those, "beneath you," and actually being there with those people, striving with them for better. THAT is love. Let's make charity literally mean love in action. Creating solidarity can only result in a mutual respect and dedication for your fellow man. Apply that on a worldwide scale... and you have peace.
Genuine, active and loving care for one another regardless of race, nationality, sexuality, and religious affiliation will save the world. It's not a concept that will initially become universal, it needs a little nurturing and cultivation much like other great ideas. Like anything else, it will start with a seed, a small idea, but with a great deal of growth brought on by the dedication of everyone, it could change everything as we know it. To avoid social regression, we must move forward. So take these as you will, roll them around if need be, and consider them as a they are, a mustard seed that, with time and a bit of grace, could genuinely, seriously, and very effectly change the world for the better.
You cannot claim to love a person, or group of persons, and do things that violate their right to safety, privacy, and happiness. Doing so is what I call, "Hate Disguised As Love." My hallmark example of people frequently practicing this (radical as it may be) are the members of The Westboro Baptist Church. The God Hates Fags people claim that their God "hates fags and fag enablers," but if you were to ask them if THEY hate them, their response rings as, "No! We do not hate them. We LOVE them and that is why we feel the need to warn them of God's wrath." Given what we know now that LOVE IS RESPECT, we can recognize that by causing numerous people emotional grief, thereby threatening their right to emotional safety, these church members cannot love them. This concept translates into many others situations and injustices commited by people based upon the merits of nationalism, politics, religion, race, creed, and sexuality.
At this point, I am going to cannon bomb right into the deep end of the controversy pool. Do you have your water wings? Because you're coming with me on this journey. The first thing to understand is that you should not combat one injustice with another. Doing so is not respectful to another, therefore not loving. (Is one and one adding up to two yet?) Not to mention, if we lived an, "Eye For An Eye," society, we'd all be dead ahead of our time. Here it goes, so grab the torches and pitchforks. Whether or not to voluntarily end a pregnancy can be one of the most difficult and daunting decisions a woman can make in her life be it due to personal economic reasons, health etc. Standing outside of a healthcare facility with large pictures of mangled fetuses, calling a woman (who, as I said) may have just made one of the most painful and difficult decisions of her life) a, "baby killer," or, "murderer," is not a loving act. Doing so is putting the emotional health of that particular woman in jeopardy, and not SAY IT WITH ME... respectful to that person. You have every right in the world to not agree with that decision, but consider this; Perhaps taking a more respectful and loving attitude to express that opinion WHEN ASKED (which is key) is going to turn a lot more hearts than making a villain of yourself and envoking a feeling of resentment. Without that, we could be a much more unified group of people resulting in a more peaceful society. This also goes for my pro-choice brothers and sisters. Stuffing your opinion down someone else's throat using vulgarity and condecension makes you no better than anyone else. It only creates negative feelings and stirs up resentment.
I move now to a more conversation-safe point. I read a quote recently that spoke a great deal to me, and it is this:
"I don't believe in charity, I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical, it goes from top to bottom. Solidarity is horizontal, it respects the other person. I have a lot to learn from other people."
Eduardo Galeano
When I initially read this, I thought to myself, "You know what? How easy is it to write a check? How easy to throw the discards from my wardrobe into a box and take it to the Goodwill (that I was going to anyways?) How simple to drop the change I got from the cashier into the Salvation Army bucket on my way out the door?" Very simple, I decided. Not to mention I get it back come tax time! AND I never really have to devote any of my own precious time or really get my hands dirty. This is an example of what I have deemed, "Cafeteria Love." That is, going through the, "line," or motions for my, "charitable street cred." At this point, I had become intrigued. I began to research where the money going to these non-profit organizations really goes at the end of the day, and the CEOs of many of these non-profit charitable organizations are making pretty tasty little salaries as it turns out. Okay, that's all well and nice for them, but I began to wonder; Would of the elimination of such massive middlemen eliminate the progressive leeching of donations making it so that more of the initial amount actually reaches it's eventual destination? That makes a great deal of sense to me at the end of the day. My solution is simple and it's this:
IF PEOPLE IN GENERAL ARE MORE OPEN TO SPENDING SOME OF THEIR TIME EXPRESSING THEIR, "LOVE," FOR THEIR FELLOW MAN (as they claim to when they write that check) IN A CLOSE, PERSONAL WAY, THEN WE WOULD NOT HAVE TO CREATE GIANT CORPORATIONS TO GROUP CARING INDIVIDUALS TOGETHER TO DEDICATE A WEEK'S WORTH OF HOURS TO HELPING OTHERS, THEREFORE THE SMALLER, INDIVIDUAL EFFORT OF BILLIONS WILL TRAVEL JUST AS FAR IF NOT MORE.
Okay, that... is a bit radical a concept admittedly. I only mean to say that if we limited all of our charitable effort to a local area with the help of everyone, there would be no salaries to pay, no corporations to support, and you would know that the very same resources would be available to you if need be. Riddle me this; what is the difference between writing your check to your organization of choice, and buying the food yourself, preparing it, and serving it personally at an independant soup kitchen? The answer... time. You're dedicating the funds anyways, why not personally see where it goes? THAT is the difference between charity and solidarity. The difference between passing your money to those, "beneath you," and actually being there with those people, striving with them for better. THAT is love. Let's make charity literally mean love in action. Creating solidarity can only result in a mutual respect and dedication for your fellow man. Apply that on a worldwide scale... and you have peace.
Genuine, active and loving care for one another regardless of race, nationality, sexuality, and religious affiliation will save the world. It's not a concept that will initially become universal, it needs a little nurturing and cultivation much like other great ideas. Like anything else, it will start with a seed, a small idea, but with a great deal of growth brought on by the dedication of everyone, it could change everything as we know it. To avoid social regression, we must move forward. So take these as you will, roll them around if need be, and consider them as a they are, a mustard seed that, with time and a bit of grace, could genuinely, seriously, and very effectly change the world for the better.
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