I recently had a small health scare. Two days ago, I was admitted into the ER with somewhat severe lower abdominal pain originating from what I felt was my uterine area. I was given IV fluids, a CT scan and had a pelvic exam. I am happy to report that all of my blood work, urinary analysis and CT came out normal. I am still waiting for the results of a pelvic culture swab which means there really is no indication of infection yet. Unfortunately, the ER doctor did not consider it necessary to have any sort of definitive proof before diagnosing me with, "Acute Pelvic Inflammatory Disease," on my discharge paperwork. At the time it was 6 in the morning, I had been up all night and I just wanted sleep. Upon awakening, I decided to look into this disease that I (apparently) have now, and what I found was legitimately frightening;
"Prompt and appropriate treatment can help prevent complications of PID,
including permanent damage to the female reproductive
organs. Infection-causing bacteria can silently invade the
fallopian tubes,
causing normal tissue to turn into scar tissue. This scar
tissue blocks or
interrupts the normal movement of eggs into the uterus. If
the fallopian
tubes are totally blocked by scar tissue, sperm cannot
fertilize an egg,
and the woman becomes infertile. Infertility also can
occur if the fallopian
tubes are partially blocked or even slightly damaged. Up
to 10-15% of women with PID may become infertile, and if a woman has
multiple episodes of PID,
her chances of becoming infertile increase."
-CDC website
The thing that made this particularly horrifying is that my husband and I are, currently, beginning to try to conceive. From what I saw of myself up until this point is that I am a normal, healthy 24 year old woman with a regular cycle, and have had no previous concerns as to my ability to carry a child. Needless to say, I immediately went into fear mode which resulted in me becoming angry with this doctor who, in my mind, had the audacity to label me with this disease without any definitive proof. I called my best friend and step mother to share my thoughts on the matter. I put on a brave face saying that the doctor was probably a quack, and assuring myself and them that I was pretty sure that nothing like that was wrong with me. I spent the rest of the day grocery shopping and making dinner. As the evening approached, my demeanor began to change a bit. I say, "a bit," conservatively as what I had was more along the lines of an emotional breakdown. I became sad and extremely resentful. I told my husband that the next time a woman had the nerve to complain of pregnancy symptoms or the behavior of their children, I would personally drop kick them. I sat on my couch silently sobbing for the better part of an hour and followed it up with a depression nap. I then proceeded to get fairly drunk and fell asleep.
I woke up late the next morning, moved to the couch and fell back to sleep until the late afternoon. At some point, I realized that it would probably be a good idea for myself and those around me if I went and washed the vodka stink off of myself. As I stood there naked in front of my bathroom mirror it hit me;
I don't feel like a woman anymore.
I had always felt so empowered and proud of my femininity. I took pride in my body's perceived ability to bring life into this world and sustain it. I had appreciated every curve of my form as I KNEW that this was the shape of a being that could do the most remarkable thing. Now....... I saw something potentially broken. Something that was built to perform a task, and failed to do so without a warranty.
I blow dried my hair, put on some make up and began to dress. I stood in the bedroom mirror adjusting my scarf and slipping bangles onto my wrists when I felt two large hands wrap themselves around my waist from behind. I looked up and saw my husband peering over my shoulder. Our eyes met. "You are so beautiful," he said with a grin. "Thanks," I replied weakly. I looked back at myself and saw a completely different picture. "I'm really smart too," I added looking at him. "God, you are so smart. If there were ever anyone who I know could really change the world, it would be you," said he.
At that moment, I really liked me. I saw me for what I was. What I am is an attractive, healthy 24 year old woman with a lively imagination, compassionate heart, what I would consider, "enlightened principles," and a tendency to wholeheartedly stand up for what I believe in and express myself extremely well. I realized, then, that as amazing as bringing new life into the world is, that happens all the time. Millions of children go uncared for in this world, and all of the sudden it felt selfish of me to only want a miniature version of myself, when there is a world of work to do. I still have the capacity for all of the things a mother can be, just possibly without the need to add another mouth to feed in this world of hunger and struggle. I want to leave something behind when I am gone, and maybe it won't be genetically which as we know is finite. An exchange of ideas, a new concept, a new way of thinking, or a positive societal shift as a whole? That can be limitless. I FEEL LIMITLESS.
I am supposed to get a call from the doctor today about my final lab results which will determine whether or not I actually have a problem. If I don't, that is wonderful. If I do... I will get some medicine and treat it. If it leads to me having fertility issues... I'll deal. I do want to make one thing absolutely clear, I think having children is amazing, and all of my mommy friends are wonderful mothers. I just mean to say that, for me, if it turns out that my personal path does not involve having my own, I know now that I'm not broken. I'm just a different model.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Fear Mongering Media
Alright, we can call this the part 2 to my original, "What Are You Afraid Of?" As you (hopefully) remember, I was discussing how a constant exposure to fear effects our lives and actions to one another, and ways to better put that fear energy to use. In this, I will like to talk about where a lot of the fear in this country is created. Very simply, the news media perpetuates fear in it's viewers/listeners in order to prevent us from being united and recognizing the hypocrisy and crookedness of our government.
On any given day, you can turn on any national news media source and see something along the lines of, " SUICIDE BOMBING!" "ANTIBIOTIC RESISTANT BACTERIA KILLING HOSPITAL PATIENTS!" "THIS ADMINISTRATION IS TRYING TO TAKE OUR RIGHTS AWAY" "NO! THE OTHER GUYS ARE TRYING TO TAKE YOUR RIGHTS AWAY!" "FISCAL CLIFF!" "SEQUESTERING!" "78% OF RESTAURANT EMPLOYEES PICK THEIR NOSE BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR HAMBURGER!" "ANGRY WIFE CUTS OFF HUSBAND'S PENIS!"..... you get it.
This is definitely an idea that I've been working with for about a week now, and wanted to express, but I knew that I'd need to do a bit of research before I could tackle. In my quest for further knowledge, I came across this gem. I have no clue who this person is since my Google search turned up with nothing, but I think she hit the nail on the head with this:
"The current state of the news media is partially to blame for the public's general lack of information vital for responsible citizenship in a democracy. The news media has become an aspect of show business, offering merely infotainment. It has evolved into an entity that tends to function as a public relations agency for wealthy and powerful multinational corporations, members of Congress, the current Presidential Administration including the administrations that preceded it. The news media is being utilized as a political tool of suppression and propaganda by those in power, and propaganda is psychological in nature. Full of half-truths and utter misinformation, it's an arrogant and very commercial strategy that is implemented because it appeals to emotions, fear being the main one relentless talks of national security, personal and community safety, can trigger childhood insecurities and indoctrinate views of authority."
Teresa Stover
Admittedly, that was a slightly more political view that I typically have, but I think that the basic idea is definitely present. These, "news sources," have more to gain when they can keep you watching in suspense. An unfortunate side effect of this constant exposure to the media telling you how, essentially, everyone else is capable of harming you is that it keeps us in fear of each other. You could have never gotten carjacked in your life, but you still lock your doors in a, "bad neighborhood." Why is that? It's not that your reacting from experience, but that you heard (possibly many years ago) that a person got mugged or raped or carjacked or even verbally abused in this area and you're going to make sure it doesn't happen to you. Have you ever heard of a place, outside of a penitentiary, where 100% of the residence were criminals?...... Me neither. That being said, we have to admit that actions such as locking your car while you're driving through a supposedly bad area or shoving your thumb in your beer bottle at a party can only mean one thing; you do not trust someone there not to cause you harm.
This lack of trust in our fellow man translates very broadly and can permeate the way we live our entire lives. How often do you hear about the small, good things people do for one another? You rarely see a news report about the man who helps take care of his elderly neighbor or the group of people who set up soup kitchens to feed the homeless in the park. A stranger pulling over on the side of the highway to help someone change a flat tire isn't going to make the 6 o-clock broadcast, and neither will the woman who gives a couple of teens a lift home (without molesting or kidnapping them, mind you). I'm going to tell you something now that make take you aback, but follow me with this;
For the most part, nothing of significance is going to happen to you! More than likely, you're not going to get shot, stabbed, beaten, or blown up. You will be born, go to school, graduate, probably fall in love, get your heart broken, have kids, buy a house, struggle to pay bills sometimes, laugh, smile, cry, and die. That's all. It's the way you fill that time that dictates the true significance of your existence. If you're going to live your life in fear of everyone around you, what's the point?
It's at this time, I usually like to offer a solution, and this one sounds simple, but could possibly be a bit difficult. Turn off the TV. Read a book, paint a picture, write a poem, and please PLEASE try to begin to see the beauty in people because, I assure you, it is there! This whole Right Wing vs. Left Wing, Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice, Christian vs. Atheist shit is for the birds! It is time to disconnect ourselves from the source of our contention and begin to live in unity. WE are the ones who can change this world, not some political power. STOP GIVING THEM PERMISSION TO SCARE YOU AND TELL YOU HOW TO THINK AND LIVE! There are more of us than there are them, and majority rules baby. Be the change you want to see, because if we continue to let the people who have all of the money be the driving force of our actions, we are so far beyond screwed that we are almost beyond redemption. So, today, or the next time you get a chance, smile at a stranger, shake their hand and have a conversation. Put your best foot forward because you may just be helping that person realize, as well, that the world is, in fact, a beautiful place and fear is for the feared.
On any given day, you can turn on any national news media source and see something along the lines of, " SUICIDE BOMBING!" "ANTIBIOTIC RESISTANT BACTERIA KILLING HOSPITAL PATIENTS!" "THIS ADMINISTRATION IS TRYING TO TAKE OUR RIGHTS AWAY" "NO! THE OTHER GUYS ARE TRYING TO TAKE YOUR RIGHTS AWAY!" "FISCAL CLIFF!" "SEQUESTERING!" "78% OF RESTAURANT EMPLOYEES PICK THEIR NOSE BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR HAMBURGER!" "ANGRY WIFE CUTS OFF HUSBAND'S PENIS!"..... you get it.
This is definitely an idea that I've been working with for about a week now, and wanted to express, but I knew that I'd need to do a bit of research before I could tackle. In my quest for further knowledge, I came across this gem. I have no clue who this person is since my Google search turned up with nothing, but I think she hit the nail on the head with this:
"The current state of the news media is partially to blame for the public's general lack of information vital for responsible citizenship in a democracy. The news media has become an aspect of show business, offering merely infotainment. It has evolved into an entity that tends to function as a public relations agency for wealthy and powerful multinational corporations, members of Congress, the current Presidential Administration including the administrations that preceded it. The news media is being utilized as a political tool of suppression and propaganda by those in power, and propaganda is psychological in nature. Full of half-truths and utter misinformation, it's an arrogant and very commercial strategy that is implemented because it appeals to emotions, fear being the main one relentless talks of national security, personal and community safety, can trigger childhood insecurities and indoctrinate views of authority."
Teresa Stover
Admittedly, that was a slightly more political view that I typically have, but I think that the basic idea is definitely present. These, "news sources," have more to gain when they can keep you watching in suspense. An unfortunate side effect of this constant exposure to the media telling you how, essentially, everyone else is capable of harming you is that it keeps us in fear of each other. You could have never gotten carjacked in your life, but you still lock your doors in a, "bad neighborhood." Why is that? It's not that your reacting from experience, but that you heard (possibly many years ago) that a person got mugged or raped or carjacked or even verbally abused in this area and you're going to make sure it doesn't happen to you. Have you ever heard of a place, outside of a penitentiary, where 100% of the residence were criminals?...... Me neither. That being said, we have to admit that actions such as locking your car while you're driving through a supposedly bad area or shoving your thumb in your beer bottle at a party can only mean one thing; you do not trust someone there not to cause you harm.
This lack of trust in our fellow man translates very broadly and can permeate the way we live our entire lives. How often do you hear about the small, good things people do for one another? You rarely see a news report about the man who helps take care of his elderly neighbor or the group of people who set up soup kitchens to feed the homeless in the park. A stranger pulling over on the side of the highway to help someone change a flat tire isn't going to make the 6 o-clock broadcast, and neither will the woman who gives a couple of teens a lift home (without molesting or kidnapping them, mind you). I'm going to tell you something now that make take you aback, but follow me with this;
For the most part, nothing of significance is going to happen to you! More than likely, you're not going to get shot, stabbed, beaten, or blown up. You will be born, go to school, graduate, probably fall in love, get your heart broken, have kids, buy a house, struggle to pay bills sometimes, laugh, smile, cry, and die. That's all. It's the way you fill that time that dictates the true significance of your existence. If you're going to live your life in fear of everyone around you, what's the point?
It's at this time, I usually like to offer a solution, and this one sounds simple, but could possibly be a bit difficult. Turn off the TV. Read a book, paint a picture, write a poem, and please PLEASE try to begin to see the beauty in people because, I assure you, it is there! This whole Right Wing vs. Left Wing, Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice, Christian vs. Atheist shit is for the birds! It is time to disconnect ourselves from the source of our contention and begin to live in unity. WE are the ones who can change this world, not some political power. STOP GIVING THEM PERMISSION TO SCARE YOU AND TELL YOU HOW TO THINK AND LIVE! There are more of us than there are them, and majority rules baby. Be the change you want to see, because if we continue to let the people who have all of the money be the driving force of our actions, we are so far beyond screwed that we are almost beyond redemption. So, today, or the next time you get a chance, smile at a stranger, shake their hand and have a conversation. Put your best foot forward because you may just be helping that person realize, as well, that the world is, in fact, a beautiful place and fear is for the feared.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
What Are You Afraid Of?
Last night, I was sitting with my fiancé and best friend listening to Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant. After laughing at the apparent comedic factor, we began to talk about the cultural implications of the musical monologue. In telling the story of Guthrie's experience with Officer Obie and the Vietnam draft, he pointed out the hypocrisy that existed within the Armed Forces' selection process in terms of psychological and criminal history.
Now, I would be lying if I said that I don't have some amount of respect for the men and women who serve in our Armed Forces seeing as how the majority of them do it in an effort to keep our country safe from outside threat. However, what I came to realize last night is that a great deal of our participation in acts of war, in general, is based upon one huge factor... fear.
Fear is one of the most basic and animalistic emotions that drive us as human beings. Like other living things, we experience a, "fight or flight," response when confronted with something that causes us to be afraid. If you're walking through a dark alley way in the middle of the night and you see someone coming towards you, the sympathetic nervous response takes over; your pupils dilate, adrenaline is released into your blood stream causing your heart rate to increase pumping blood into your arms and legs in case you need to move quickly, and your liver empties itself of all of your extra glucose stores to provide you with the energy to deal with the stress. As a result, your body has equipped you with the means to do one of two thing, fight or run away.
Believe it or not, we as humans are faced with these small fight or flight responses all the time whether we recognize them or not. You get a large electric bill, fear. Somebody cuts you off while you have your child in the car, fear. You feel like your livelihood is being threatened, fear. As a result of this fairly constant exposure to fear, we do a number of things, such as overeat, yell at our kids, throw temper tantrums, drink heavily, compulsive shop, fall into depressions, and, most importantly, fight each other.
In analyzing instances of verbal or physical violence being acted out between two groups of people with differences varying between race, religion, sexual orientation etc. I have narrowed them all down to fear. Being afraid of each other. Come with me on this journey:
Black Man to White Man: "I am afraid that you're not going to respect me or my family. I'm afraid that you're going to deny my rights and view me as less of a person.
White Man to Black Man: "I am afraid that you're going to hurt me and put the blame of previous generations on me.
Judeo-Christian to Pagan: "I don't understand your beliefs and the ways you practice them. I am afraid that my God will be angry with me if I support the things you do.
Pagan to Judeo-Christian: "I am afraid that you will discriminate against me because of my "unorthodox" beliefs and will try to change me.
Homophobe to Homosexual: "I am afraid of what you do because it's not what I'm used to. I've not been exposed to your lifestyle, so it alarms me.
Homosexual to Homophobe: "I am afraid that you will hurt me for being who I am and not recognize the one I love and I's rights as a couple.
There are three ways to go about handling these fears and situations. First, we could take the fear response and use it to power anger, which will result in fighting and further disrespect. Secondly, we could run away, ignore the problem, learn nothing, neglect to inform others and thus perpetuate ignorance. OR (and this is the more favorable of the options) we could use this energy that fear gives us constructively. We could ask questions, answer other's queries, do research (in an unbiased fashion) and open up our minds and hearts to the thoughts, beliefs, and rights of others. Doing so would make us more capable of recognizing the fact that these people are human beings with the same goals as us (raising a family, being happy) and that, for the most part, people are not out to get you as it may feel sometimes. That being said, let's adjust our prior dialogues to incorporate an element of understanding:
Black Man to White Man: "I am afraid that you're not going to respect me or my family. I'm afraid that you're going to deny my rights and view me as less of a person.
White Man to Black Man: "I am afraid that you're going to hurt me and put the blame of previous generations on me.
Black Man to White Man: "But I don't want to hurt you, I just want to raise my children in a safe environment and make a good life for my family"
White Man to Black Man: "I don't view you or your family as less than human and, like you, I only want a safe environment for my children and family."
Open communication like this between peoples of all different groups can create constructive conversations and idea sharing. We all have our own concept for how we feel the world can be a better place, and without the restraint of fear, we would be able to discuss them and work together universally. Having a little faith and trust for our fellow man will make us more open individuals and able to ask the question, "What can we all do to fix this mess?" Once we concern ourselves with progressing as a group as opposed to individuals, we can stop this inane fear of what we don't understand in others and take a few steps closer to being a peaceful society.
Now, I would be lying if I said that I don't have some amount of respect for the men and women who serve in our Armed Forces seeing as how the majority of them do it in an effort to keep our country safe from outside threat. However, what I came to realize last night is that a great deal of our participation in acts of war, in general, is based upon one huge factor... fear.
Fear is one of the most basic and animalistic emotions that drive us as human beings. Like other living things, we experience a, "fight or flight," response when confronted with something that causes us to be afraid. If you're walking through a dark alley way in the middle of the night and you see someone coming towards you, the sympathetic nervous response takes over; your pupils dilate, adrenaline is released into your blood stream causing your heart rate to increase pumping blood into your arms and legs in case you need to move quickly, and your liver empties itself of all of your extra glucose stores to provide you with the energy to deal with the stress. As a result, your body has equipped you with the means to do one of two thing, fight or run away.
Believe it or not, we as humans are faced with these small fight or flight responses all the time whether we recognize them or not. You get a large electric bill, fear. Somebody cuts you off while you have your child in the car, fear. You feel like your livelihood is being threatened, fear. As a result of this fairly constant exposure to fear, we do a number of things, such as overeat, yell at our kids, throw temper tantrums, drink heavily, compulsive shop, fall into depressions, and, most importantly, fight each other.
In analyzing instances of verbal or physical violence being acted out between two groups of people with differences varying between race, religion, sexual orientation etc. I have narrowed them all down to fear. Being afraid of each other. Come with me on this journey:
Black Man to White Man: "I am afraid that you're not going to respect me or my family. I'm afraid that you're going to deny my rights and view me as less of a person.
White Man to Black Man: "I am afraid that you're going to hurt me and put the blame of previous generations on me.
Judeo-Christian to Pagan: "I don't understand your beliefs and the ways you practice them. I am afraid that my God will be angry with me if I support the things you do.
Pagan to Judeo-Christian: "I am afraid that you will discriminate against me because of my "unorthodox" beliefs and will try to change me.
Homophobe to Homosexual: "I am afraid of what you do because it's not what I'm used to. I've not been exposed to your lifestyle, so it alarms me.
Homosexual to Homophobe: "I am afraid that you will hurt me for being who I am and not recognize the one I love and I's rights as a couple.
There are three ways to go about handling these fears and situations. First, we could take the fear response and use it to power anger, which will result in fighting and further disrespect. Secondly, we could run away, ignore the problem, learn nothing, neglect to inform others and thus perpetuate ignorance. OR (and this is the more favorable of the options) we could use this energy that fear gives us constructively. We could ask questions, answer other's queries, do research (in an unbiased fashion) and open up our minds and hearts to the thoughts, beliefs, and rights of others. Doing so would make us more capable of recognizing the fact that these people are human beings with the same goals as us (raising a family, being happy) and that, for the most part, people are not out to get you as it may feel sometimes. That being said, let's adjust our prior dialogues to incorporate an element of understanding:
Black Man to White Man: "I am afraid that you're not going to respect me or my family. I'm afraid that you're going to deny my rights and view me as less of a person.
White Man to Black Man: "I am afraid that you're going to hurt me and put the blame of previous generations on me.
Black Man to White Man: "But I don't want to hurt you, I just want to raise my children in a safe environment and make a good life for my family"
White Man to Black Man: "I don't view you or your family as less than human and, like you, I only want a safe environment for my children and family."
Open communication like this between peoples of all different groups can create constructive conversations and idea sharing. We all have our own concept for how we feel the world can be a better place, and without the restraint of fear, we would be able to discuss them and work together universally. Having a little faith and trust for our fellow man will make us more open individuals and able to ask the question, "What can we all do to fix this mess?" Once we concern ourselves with progressing as a group as opposed to individuals, we can stop this inane fear of what we don't understand in others and take a few steps closer to being a peaceful society.
Stand
I stand with no reservation.
Face to the breeze, back to my past and I will not feel shame or fear.
Today I will be a beacon.
The light I wish to see in the world will shine through me and I will attempt to ignite the spirits of others with the intention of universal love and truth.
We all stand with no reservations, arms spread, hearts abandoned in the spirit of solidarity.
We stand and the beauty is deafening.
Face to the breeze, back to my past and I will not feel shame or fear.
Today I will be a beacon.
The light I wish to see in the world will shine through me and I will attempt to ignite the spirits of others with the intention of universal love and truth.
We all stand with no reservations, arms spread, hearts abandoned in the spirit of solidarity.
We stand and the beauty is deafening.
The Secret To World Peace
In short, love will save the world. I repeat; LOVE WILL SAVE THE WORLD. Real love, mind you, not what I like to call, "Cafeteria Love," or, "Hate Disguised As Love." You run across these two things very often and I will touch on both of these concepts. First, however, one thing is to be undoubtably understood, and that is this; LOVE IS RESPECT. You cannot possibly love someone or even something without undeniable respect for that person or thing. Respect means respect of privacy, respect of integrity, respect of emotions, and respect of body.
You cannot claim to love a person, or group of persons, and do things that violate their right to safety, privacy, and happiness. Doing so is what I call, "Hate Disguised As Love." My hallmark example of people frequently practicing this (radical as it may be) are the members of The Westboro Baptist Church. The God Hates Fags people claim that their God "hates fags and fag enablers," but if you were to ask them if THEY hate them, their response rings as, "No! We do not hate them. We LOVE them and that is why we feel the need to warn them of God's wrath." Given what we know now that LOVE IS RESPECT, we can recognize that by causing numerous people emotional grief, thereby threatening their right to emotional safety, these church members cannot love them. This concept translates into many others situations and injustices commited by people based upon the merits of nationalism, politics, religion, race, creed, and sexuality.
At this point, I am going to cannon bomb right into the deep end of the controversy pool. Do you have your water wings? Because you're coming with me on this journey. The first thing to understand is that you should not combat one injustice with another. Doing so is not respectful to another, therefore not loving. (Is one and one adding up to two yet?) Not to mention, if we lived an, "Eye For An Eye," society, we'd all be dead ahead of our time. Here it goes, so grab the torches and pitchforks. Whether or not to voluntarily end a pregnancy can be one of the most difficult and daunting decisions a woman can make in her life be it due to personal economic reasons, health etc. Standing outside of a healthcare facility with large pictures of mangled fetuses, calling a woman (who, as I said) may have just made one of the most painful and difficult decisions of her life) a, "baby killer," or, "murderer," is not a loving act. Doing so is putting the emotional health of that particular woman in jeopardy, and not SAY IT WITH ME... respectful to that person. You have every right in the world to not agree with that decision, but consider this; Perhaps taking a more respectful and loving attitude to express that opinion WHEN ASKED (which is key) is going to turn a lot more hearts than making a villain of yourself and envoking a feeling of resentment. Without that, we could be a much more unified group of people resulting in a more peaceful society. This also goes for my pro-choice brothers and sisters. Stuffing your opinion down someone else's throat using vulgarity and condecension makes you no better than anyone else. It only creates negative feelings and stirs up resentment.
I move now to a more conversation-safe point. I read a quote recently that spoke a great deal to me, and it is this:
"I don't believe in charity, I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical, it goes from top to bottom. Solidarity is horizontal, it respects the other person. I have a lot to learn from other people."
Eduardo Galeano
When I initially read this, I thought to myself, "You know what? How easy is it to write a check? How easy to throw the discards from my wardrobe into a box and take it to the Goodwill (that I was going to anyways?) How simple to drop the change I got from the cashier into the Salvation Army bucket on my way out the door?" Very simple, I decided. Not to mention I get it back come tax time! AND I never really have to devote any of my own precious time or really get my hands dirty. This is an example of what I have deemed, "Cafeteria Love." That is, going through the, "line," or motions for my, "charitable street cred." At this point, I had become intrigued. I began to research where the money going to these non-profit organizations really goes at the end of the day, and the CEOs of many of these non-profit charitable organizations are making pretty tasty little salaries as it turns out. Okay, that's all well and nice for them, but I began to wonder; Would of the elimination of such massive middlemen eliminate the progressive leeching of donations making it so that more of the initial amount actually reaches it's eventual destination? That makes a great deal of sense to me at the end of the day. My solution is simple and it's this:
IF PEOPLE IN GENERAL ARE MORE OPEN TO SPENDING SOME OF THEIR TIME EXPRESSING THEIR, "LOVE," FOR THEIR FELLOW MAN (as they claim to when they write that check) IN A CLOSE, PERSONAL WAY, THEN WE WOULD NOT HAVE TO CREATE GIANT CORPORATIONS TO GROUP CARING INDIVIDUALS TOGETHER TO DEDICATE A WEEK'S WORTH OF HOURS TO HELPING OTHERS, THEREFORE THE SMALLER, INDIVIDUAL EFFORT OF BILLIONS WILL TRAVEL JUST AS FAR IF NOT MORE.
Okay, that... is a bit radical a concept admittedly. I only mean to say that if we limited all of our charitable effort to a local area with the help of everyone, there would be no salaries to pay, no corporations to support, and you would know that the very same resources would be available to you if need be. Riddle me this; what is the difference between writing your check to your organization of choice, and buying the food yourself, preparing it, and serving it personally at an independant soup kitchen? The answer... time. You're dedicating the funds anyways, why not personally see where it goes? THAT is the difference between charity and solidarity. The difference between passing your money to those, "beneath you," and actually being there with those people, striving with them for better. THAT is love. Let's make charity literally mean love in action. Creating solidarity can only result in a mutual respect and dedication for your fellow man. Apply that on a worldwide scale... and you have peace.
Genuine, active and loving care for one another regardless of race, nationality, sexuality, and religious affiliation will save the world. It's not a concept that will initially become universal, it needs a little nurturing and cultivation much like other great ideas. Like anything else, it will start with a seed, a small idea, but with a great deal of growth brought on by the dedication of everyone, it could change everything as we know it. To avoid social regression, we must move forward. So take these as you will, roll them around if need be, and consider them as a they are, a mustard seed that, with time and a bit of grace, could genuinely, seriously, and very effectly change the world for the better.
You cannot claim to love a person, or group of persons, and do things that violate their right to safety, privacy, and happiness. Doing so is what I call, "Hate Disguised As Love." My hallmark example of people frequently practicing this (radical as it may be) are the members of The Westboro Baptist Church. The God Hates Fags people claim that their God "hates fags and fag enablers," but if you were to ask them if THEY hate them, their response rings as, "No! We do not hate them. We LOVE them and that is why we feel the need to warn them of God's wrath." Given what we know now that LOVE IS RESPECT, we can recognize that by causing numerous people emotional grief, thereby threatening their right to emotional safety, these church members cannot love them. This concept translates into many others situations and injustices commited by people based upon the merits of nationalism, politics, religion, race, creed, and sexuality.
At this point, I am going to cannon bomb right into the deep end of the controversy pool. Do you have your water wings? Because you're coming with me on this journey. The first thing to understand is that you should not combat one injustice with another. Doing so is not respectful to another, therefore not loving. (Is one and one adding up to two yet?) Not to mention, if we lived an, "Eye For An Eye," society, we'd all be dead ahead of our time. Here it goes, so grab the torches and pitchforks. Whether or not to voluntarily end a pregnancy can be one of the most difficult and daunting decisions a woman can make in her life be it due to personal economic reasons, health etc. Standing outside of a healthcare facility with large pictures of mangled fetuses, calling a woman (who, as I said) may have just made one of the most painful and difficult decisions of her life) a, "baby killer," or, "murderer," is not a loving act. Doing so is putting the emotional health of that particular woman in jeopardy, and not SAY IT WITH ME... respectful to that person. You have every right in the world to not agree with that decision, but consider this; Perhaps taking a more respectful and loving attitude to express that opinion WHEN ASKED (which is key) is going to turn a lot more hearts than making a villain of yourself and envoking a feeling of resentment. Without that, we could be a much more unified group of people resulting in a more peaceful society. This also goes for my pro-choice brothers and sisters. Stuffing your opinion down someone else's throat using vulgarity and condecension makes you no better than anyone else. It only creates negative feelings and stirs up resentment.
I move now to a more conversation-safe point. I read a quote recently that spoke a great deal to me, and it is this:
"I don't believe in charity, I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical, it goes from top to bottom. Solidarity is horizontal, it respects the other person. I have a lot to learn from other people."
Eduardo Galeano
When I initially read this, I thought to myself, "You know what? How easy is it to write a check? How easy to throw the discards from my wardrobe into a box and take it to the Goodwill (that I was going to anyways?) How simple to drop the change I got from the cashier into the Salvation Army bucket on my way out the door?" Very simple, I decided. Not to mention I get it back come tax time! AND I never really have to devote any of my own precious time or really get my hands dirty. This is an example of what I have deemed, "Cafeteria Love." That is, going through the, "line," or motions for my, "charitable street cred." At this point, I had become intrigued. I began to research where the money going to these non-profit organizations really goes at the end of the day, and the CEOs of many of these non-profit charitable organizations are making pretty tasty little salaries as it turns out. Okay, that's all well and nice for them, but I began to wonder; Would of the elimination of such massive middlemen eliminate the progressive leeching of donations making it so that more of the initial amount actually reaches it's eventual destination? That makes a great deal of sense to me at the end of the day. My solution is simple and it's this:
IF PEOPLE IN GENERAL ARE MORE OPEN TO SPENDING SOME OF THEIR TIME EXPRESSING THEIR, "LOVE," FOR THEIR FELLOW MAN (as they claim to when they write that check) IN A CLOSE, PERSONAL WAY, THEN WE WOULD NOT HAVE TO CREATE GIANT CORPORATIONS TO GROUP CARING INDIVIDUALS TOGETHER TO DEDICATE A WEEK'S WORTH OF HOURS TO HELPING OTHERS, THEREFORE THE SMALLER, INDIVIDUAL EFFORT OF BILLIONS WILL TRAVEL JUST AS FAR IF NOT MORE.
Okay, that... is a bit radical a concept admittedly. I only mean to say that if we limited all of our charitable effort to a local area with the help of everyone, there would be no salaries to pay, no corporations to support, and you would know that the very same resources would be available to you if need be. Riddle me this; what is the difference between writing your check to your organization of choice, and buying the food yourself, preparing it, and serving it personally at an independant soup kitchen? The answer... time. You're dedicating the funds anyways, why not personally see where it goes? THAT is the difference between charity and solidarity. The difference between passing your money to those, "beneath you," and actually being there with those people, striving with them for better. THAT is love. Let's make charity literally mean love in action. Creating solidarity can only result in a mutual respect and dedication for your fellow man. Apply that on a worldwide scale... and you have peace.
Genuine, active and loving care for one another regardless of race, nationality, sexuality, and religious affiliation will save the world. It's not a concept that will initially become universal, it needs a little nurturing and cultivation much like other great ideas. Like anything else, it will start with a seed, a small idea, but with a great deal of growth brought on by the dedication of everyone, it could change everything as we know it. To avoid social regression, we must move forward. So take these as you will, roll them around if need be, and consider them as a they are, a mustard seed that, with time and a bit of grace, could genuinely, seriously, and very effectly change the world for the better.
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